Argus Press Article 4

This won't be published until the first Sunday in November, but I'm a little proactive with my writing, so here's a sneak peak!

Imagine a place where family dinners still exist, a place where teenagers love to laugh with their parents, a place where the family bonds are so tight that often you live with your parents for your entire life. The place is real. It is called, Taiwan.
Being in Taiwan for almost three months now, I feel I have a good grasp on their family values. To most Americans, the family value system practiced in nearly every household here on this Asian island would be considered grossly “old fashion” and likely “out-of-touch.” The family I live with eats dinner together every night. When we aren’t eating dinner, the parents and teenagers are gathered together playing on the internet or watching television together. Together! Teenagers and Parents! What I’ve seen and experienced in America is parents that are often so stressed and tired that they don’t have the energy or time to spend with their children, and children are too caught up in extra-curricular activities, significant others, or solo computer games that they don’t care to spend time with their parents. It is a sad truth that this scenario seems to have become the norm for most American families.

It is refreshing to see my “host brother,” Derek, who is 15, laugh with his mother and joke around for hours with various family members. When I was fifteen, I don’t remember laughing on a daily basis with my parents. Parents seemed to be the enemy during those early high school years; but here they are the welcomed support system. As I look back, my parents were also my support system but I did not view them as such nor did I treat them with a whole lot of honor or respect. This was the same, sadly, for most of my peers as well. How did it become this way for us in the United States? What transpired in our society where most teens harbor so little respect, at least outwardly, for their parents?
The first time my adoptive family took me to the supermarket (which is 40 minutes away), I thought we all went together because it was a new experience for me, the foreigner. Since then, we have gone many times to the store and it is always together as a family. Imagine that: a family grocery shopping together. It takes longer; but there is time to spare when you’re with the people you love. The store is more crowded; but it makes conversation easier when you are close. I have come to love grocery shopping with my family. During the ride to and from the store, we are all engaged in conversation and laughter. The conversation is usually in Chinese, so I don’t understand some of it; but the sole fact that everyone enjoys each others’ company is a breath of fresh air for me.

Being so close to one’s family, it is not uncommon to live with your parents until you are married, or even after. Most of my single friends in Taiwan still live with their parents. In America, if you are thirty and still living at home, some people might question your actions; but in Taiwan, it is completely normal.

The principal at my school (53 years old) still lives with her mother, and has since the day she was born. One of my friends not only lives with his mother, but also with his younger sister, and married brother, along with the brother’s wife and two kids. It’s important to note here that land and space are at a premium. Taiwan housing is more like apartments. There are very few single family dwellings such as we have in America. This is certainly part of the reason you frequently find multi-generational households here but, in my opinion, not the primary reason. The family ties with one another are just more intimate and deep than we experience in the United States.

In light of the closeness just described, I decided to investigate if there was such a thing as divorce in Taiwan. To my surprise, according to international-divorce.com, Taiwan’s divorce rate is the highest in Asia, and has doubled in the last decade. The article claims that 25% of marriages will fail. This shocked me because I have yet to meet anyone who is a product of a failed marriage. This includes my students, the faculty and the many individuals I interact with socially. Frankly, I question this statistic but I have no basis, besides my own personal experience, with which to refute it. Even if this figure is taken at face value, it is minuscule compared to America’s 67% failure rate. (divorceandkids.com).
I’ve always been a person who loves the feeling of a family atmosphere. When preparing to move to Taiwan, I feared that I would become lonely and depressed. Luckily, my school placed me with the Huang family, and I have not experienced loneliness at all. My adoptive family invites me to join in all the family activities, but they are not offended if I chose to be with other friends or alone. It is nice to have a loving support system while I’m so far away from home. I truly have been blessed on this journey so far, and I look forward to nine more months of exploring the Asian culture.

I have received numerous emails from Argus-Press readers, and so many thoughtful questions. I would like to thank everyone for the continued support and questions. As always, feel free to email me questions or comments at kstrein@yahoo.com. For updates on my Taiwan experience, click on my blog: http://kstrein.blogspot.com/. Until then, be mindful of all you have to be thankful for and make sure to show your appreciation to the ones you love.