Different kind of shock

Before moving to Taiwan in August of 2008, I knew very little about the Taiwanese culture; but have since learned a great deal. It is a fascinating country with a culture very different from ours. I expected to experience a bit of culture shock but had clue as to what form it would take. Obviously, I knew there would be a language barrier, differences in food, religion and customs, but nothing really prepares you to be immersed into a foreign culture and experience the obvious as well as the subtle differences in culture. I have been in Taiwan now for over seven months and I am still learning about the ways of the Taiwanese people.

When anyone travels to a foreign country as a tourist you experience, for the most part, the superficial aspects of the culture. That is what I did for the first several months in this intriguing country. I was overloaded with the different culture I experienced yet little did I know there was so much more that was totally going over my head. I would like to share with you some of the more subtle aspects of the Taiwanese culture that I have only lately come to appreciate. Additionally, I am going to reveal some things that I have learned about myself as a result of this experience.

First, I need to confess that because there is a lack of English speaking friends, I am experiencing a bit of social deprivation. I miss everyday, ordinary conversation! By nature I am a social person. I enjoy talking, going out with my friends on the weekends and making plans for small “road” trips. The social life of Taiwanese young adults is drastically different from their American counterparts. Primarily, it revolves around family. At my school, most of the younger teachers with whom I might normally socialize, go back to their parents’ house for the weekend, and rarely go out. I was shocked at how these young adults are still so very much tied both emotionally and socially to their extended families. I don’t want to be misunderstood here. I am certainly all for family and family values but I am also for independence and having a broad spectrum of family AND friends with whom to socialize. The social circle of the Taiwanese does not extent far beyond family connections.

If you have been following my articles, you know I have done a fair amount of traveling but still there are many weekends spent alone with not much to do. Having only a handful of people with which I can communicate make for a very lonely and long few days. I had to realize that these people have their own lives and cannot be there for me every time that I need them. I am dealing with the loneliness in the best way possible, but in the same breathe, I will be glad to be back on American soil and in the midst of a familiar culture and language.

Another subtle aspect of the culture I've come to experience is that, by and large, the Taiwanese people are not planners, at least not nearly to the extent of most Western cultures. For example, it was not until two weeks into the semester that teachers were given a semester calendar with important dates for the upcoming months. Teaching supplies and curriculum were distributed in a likewise manner. Though I had a week of office hours to prepare for the coming semester, I had no materials with which to prepare. Luckily, the first day for students was only a half day. This gave me time to prepare at least for the first week. These types of occurrences are more the norm than an isolated incident. Not one of the Taiwanese teachers was alarmed at this nor were they concerned. Deadlines are flexible. It has been my experience that this sort of thing would not be tolerated in the USA. As an American, I look at this as procrastinating, or irresponsible, but that is to view this culture thru my culture and experience. I am still working on patience, tolerance and the ability to perform many tasks without the benefit of advanced planning.


The next major culture difference that I’ve noticed is how parents relate to their adult children. In prior articles, I have mentioned how children typically live with their parents until they are married and frequently after. Multigenerational homes abound in Taiwan. Not only do they live with their parents, but children are taken care of to an extent that we would view as childlike. A child can be well into his/her thirties, living at home and have a “curfew” similar to a middle school student in the States. Additionally, the parents will make a majority of the decisions for this young adult as well. It is so different than the way most Western parents raise their children. Most parents I know want to prepare their children to become independent and able to make good choices on their own. I do not see that philosophy here in Taiwan. There must be an age where the parent feels comfortable “letting go” of their children but, as of yet, I haven’t figured out where that age might be………….30…..35…..40?

Now that I look back on it and appreciate what was just described above, I think the administration at my school was probably shocked that their new English teacher was so young. All the concern and wanting to know where I was going and when I would be back etc. was not necessarily driven by professional hospitality but, rather, by their sense that I needed parental-like protection. I think that is why the principal has treated me so differently from the other two foreign teachers, whom are both in their 40’s. It took me this long to figure it out. Because I am young and a first year teacher, she either decided or was appointed the job of being my surrogate parent, at least while I was in the school setting.

Recently I decided to move out of my host family setting and get my own place. To be honest, part of that decision was around the very issue I just discussed: independence. The principal was not at all comfortable with my decision and tried to convince me otherwise. Once I made it clear I want my own place for the next semester she became very active in the process of finding me an apartment. She eventually took me to look at several places in Hsin Kang, but none of them were up to my satisfaction. On my own, I found a new apartment complex that had a furnished apartment for rent in a neighboring town. At first, the principal would not allow me to move to a different town because there is a commute, and that is dangerous. I explained to her that I liked the apartment and have chosen to live there. During the entire next week she came up with several reasons for me to not take that apartment. I finally had to explain to her that a commute is normal in my culture, and I have been driving long enough to be as safe as the next driver. This was a challenge for me, because I appreciate her concern, but I also needed to be firm and stand my ground. When I told her that children often leave home after graduating high school or college, she was very shocked and I got the impression that she felt American parents did not care as much for their children as they did. It was then the proverbial “light bulb” went on for me: she was trying to be the parent she thought I needed. Since this incident, she consults me everyday to make sure that everything is going well and I am getting enough sleep. I am not used to someone wanting to know my whereabouts and such details, but, again, I appreciate her concerns.

When preparing my heart for the year in Taiwan, I considered what I thought would be my biggest challenges: being away from home, different overall living standards, strange foods and the language barrier. I did not consider these smaller aspects that come up during everyday life. I knew that our two cultures differed greatly from one another, but having now been embedded into this culture, I am amazed at how much they actually diverge. I guess, subconsciously, I expected people to be the same, just eating different food and speaking a different language. Such is the naivety of 23 year old!