Like Woah

I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the last few weeks, and I'm going to blame everything that has happened on the stars. February just doesn't like me. Just when I thought all the issues were about to be ironed out and life could go on as normal, I get two loads of information today.
1) My sister is going to elope with her boyfriend of 16 years rather than have a traditional wedding, or even a small ceremony. This is happening in TWO WEEKS. I know this is what they want to do and it's selfish for me to not support it 100%, but I always dreamed of being a part of her wedding and being there for her every step of the way. I at least thought that the family would be around. I'm happy for them, don't get me wrong, I'm just having some sad feelings. I'm not sure if my brother ever intends on having a wedding, so that leaves me thinking that I'll never be a part of my siblings weddings or have the joy of tearing up as they say "I do." I guess as a part of a family, I had always hoped to celebrate that day in a special way by being there beside them. A girl can only wish.
2) My step sister from my dad's first marraige has not been a part of my life, or my family's life in over 14 years. This has been hardest, I think, on my dad and myself. I always wanted to know Danielle and do "sisterly" things with her. In high school, she told me over the phone to please stop writing letters that went unanswered, and please stop calling her. This broke my heart. I've learned to deal with the empty spot that is reserved in my heart for her, and I've been doing very well. Well, today I see that she accepted my request to add her on facebook. I got to see an up-to-date picture of her, see where she lives, she that she's single (thank GOD she didn't get married and NOT TELL US) etc... I've dealt with the heartbreak of not having her in my life and I was soooooooo close to coming to terms with it, and seeing her picture and seeing her profile just makes her seem within arms reach and it feels like my heart has broken all over again. I don't want to get my hopes up that anything will come out of this, but it's hard to not wish. At the very least, I can see where she lives, know when she has a boyfriend/fiance/husband, and see pictures of her. Call it stalking, but it's important that I know a little bit about her....she's my sister after all.