Christmas Day

Christmas Day for me was both the best and the worst day that I've had in a while. It was my first away from home, which was very sad, but also empowering making me feel like an independent woman. The morning was the best. I woke up and while still in bed, I turned on my computer and set it up on a pillow. First I called my Dad and JC (because they "scheduled" the earlier time slot). We talked for about an hour and opened all our presents together. JC had me read her card out loud and I got a little choked up, so I wasn't even going to open Dad's until I was alone. He tends to me a man of words and his cards always touch my heart. I wanted it to be a happy time and not turn into a crying mess. So, next came the presents. Dad and JC and my brother seemed to like the little things I found for them. It was really hard to find souvenirs that aren't junky. It was great to talk to them and feel the love and laughter that is always present in that household. JC and I have a lot of traditions we do together at the holidays (shopping, baking, decorating...) and it was really sad to not be able to do those. She did a great job on her own, but I can't wait till I can be a help again! (Or start my own traditions! YAY). So after I talked to them, it was time to call the other side of the family! My mom and Gordy were over at Erin and Jason's waiting for my calll. It toook a while to connect because our computers were just not agreeing, but when we finally did, it was great to see everyone! The haircuts, the lost weight, the smiles, the jokes! I felt like I was there with them. They also enjoyed their gifts and I enjoyed the care package from Mom and Gordy. The funniest part was when mom opened the sea weed snacks and actually tried them! The reaction from both her and Bailey were hilarious! They were spitting and gagging at the nasty fishy taste. I would never try them. During the conversation, the boys got bored so I ended up getting to just chat with my mom and sister. It was nice to feel together at the holidays. I was so happy to talk to everyone on Christmas morning. Once I got off the phone with everyone, I wanted to take a nap. The night before I had the other two cheer coaches, Vince and Gilbert, over and we stayed up pretty late. But, before I could even lay down, Mr. Huang knocked on my door. He told me that his co-worker was coming over in ten minutes to take me shopping. I had already told him that it was too late to cook Christmas dinner because I have to get the cooking supplies the day before and start preparing in the morning. He agreed that we would have hot pot in their home, but the co-worker would take me to the mall. I'm not sure why he thought I wanted to go shopping, but it wasn't worth trying to discuss. So, I got dressed and before I knew it, the creepy co-worker that always stares at me was there to take me. He was being such a gentleman and I tend to think that in his eyes this was a date. First, he took me to this field of beautiful flowers and took my picture a few times. He drove very slowly on the scooter, I think for my safety. He barely speaks a word of English, so once we got to the mall the silence was very awkward. I didn't really feel like shopping because I was tired and had a headache. I bought a few things then said I was done. He asked if I was hungry and I pointed to McDonalds. Sitting across from each other over lunch was so awkward. I would try to break the silence, but he didn't understand what I was trying to say. He even called a friend to join us...and the three of us sat their in silence. So awkward. I could only look around the room so many times to avoid the eye contact. Somehow, he managed to ask if I wanted to see a movie. I definetely wasn't going to turn this into a date...so I said I would rather go home. Thankfully, this wasn't an issue, so he took me home. He carried my bags and even my PURSE! It was so strange. Taiwanese men do this, but I typically tell them it's ok and I can carry my own purse. He didn't understand. So, once I got home I took a nap.
I woke up to the sound of the maid and Mrs. Huang preparing hot pot. I think they hold the world record for the loudest choppers ever! So, I got up and presentable and offered my help. They did not need any help because there was not enough room in the kitchen. Soon, family started to trickle in. Mr. Huang's entire family and their spouses and kids showed up. I thought, "oh this is wonderful, it's like a big family celebration at Christmas" The day was finally feeling like Christmas. Except...no one really talked to me. A few people said hi, and Mr. Huang's sister, Kathy talked to me for about ten minutes. Out of three hours. As each minute ticked by, I felt more and more lonely. It was Christmas and I was the little white girl in the corner watching everyone laugh and tell Chinese jokes. I didn't want to leave and seem rude, so I tried to make the best of it. When everyone was done eating, I asked everyone to come in the room for the gift exchange. Mr. Huang said he had to smoke first, and Derek wouldn't come in. HELLO PEOPLE - PRESENTS! I laughed and told Mr. Huang he could wait and let's do presents first. We exchanged. I had to tell everyone to open them...they were just going to take it and walk away. Mr. and Mrs. Huang never opened their gifts. Derek opened his, then I opened mine, and the maid opened hers. It was when Lynn opened hers that the day turned sour. I got her very nice earrings that were more money than the limit we set. She took one look at them and her face fell to a pout. She sat there in shock for a minute and then stood up and started a hissy fit RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Obviously, she hated them...I don't know why. They were sterling silver and nice. I bought them from her Grandma's jewelry store (hopefully she can exchange or return them this way). This hissy fit went on for about ten minutes while her grandma, the maid, and her mom tried to block her from my view. I knew exactly what was happening the whole time. Never an acknowledgment of the gifts. Never a thank you. I was crushed. I could've cried right there. Instead I pretended I didn't see anything.
When the party started to dwindle down, I went into my room. I was feeling so homesick and hurt from what Lynn had done. Everything came together and I couldn't keep MYSELF together, so I began to cry. Just then, Damien calls. I tried to hide the fact that I was crying, but he could tell. He wouldn't hang up with me either, because he knew I would just cry all night and spin into a bad situation...so he kept talking to me and trying to make me feel better. That was a nice gesture, but I really just wanted to be alone. Once we hung up, I hung out by myself for a while before calling my dad. He was expecting the call, I'm sure...and had a little chuckle when he saw it was me. I told him I was feeling lonely and homesick and just wanted to talk. After five minutes, I felt better and calmed down. I'm sure he's sick of it, but when I'm upset, I call him and the call always makes me feel better. I don't know if it's what he says or just that his shoulder is there for my tears. Thanks Dad! My mom is there too, don't get me wrong...but sometimes we women let our emotions take over what really needs to get done and we'll just cry together. Sometimes that is what I need...and I'll go to my mom just so she can hug me and tell me it's ok to cry and be sad and she will just want to hug me until it's all better. That's why God gave us two parents, each have their strengths to help us in hard times.
Anyway, Friday was a new day and back to work - and I felt much better. I knew that soon the day would be over and I would not dwell on it anymore...but I think I needed to cry and feel homesick for a few hours...I haven't cried or felt homesick at all since I've been here....so it's nice that the feelings surfaced when we all knew they were somewhere deep inside.
One thing I learned this Christmas...I love the holidays and I love being around my family. Though I love traveling, I hope that I can always be with my family on Christmas no matter where in the world I'm living at the time.!